This post is excellent and was a good read for me even in the process myself. Every adoption is different, just like every pregnancy is different. Here are some great ways to support the adoptive families in your life.
In the last two weeks we were alerted to four adoption situations and we presented to all of them. I cannot tell you the fortitude that is required to perform well at a photo session when you get a call 15 minutes before it with the question “Would you consider this situation, we are presenting in the next hour” and then go over a full budget/medical/social with your hubby pulled off on the side of a little beach road with bad cell service. Oh my goodness. Praise God I know beach sessions like the back of my hand.
And not only were these all really great situations, they were all with babies either already born or due in the next two weeks. Which brought to light how unprepared we were for a “stork drop” quick adoption. So I spend my days off gathering baby things just in case we were picked by one of them. My business partner and I came up with contingency plans for what we on the calendar for the next few weeks. Because our chances were pretty good right? Well, who knows really. I have no idea about how many other families were presented. But with adoption you have to be all in when you say yes to a situation. That’s one of the hardest things, to be willing to take this baby home tomorrow and not be crushed when you find out someone else gets that privilege.
So I procured a box of little girl clothes, a box of boy clothes and a box of preemie clothes just in case. We waited and each time the answer came back, “no.” Not you, not this time. And you take a deep breath and there is a moment of reboot, where that particular hope has to be cleared and reset.
Today was a rollercoaster day. We were picked! Our profile went live on June 29th and the very first time our profile was shown we were picked! Wow. I started crying when i got off the phone with our consultant. Is this our baby? Is this the one, Lord?
A little boy due in December.
The next few hours were a whirlwind of emails and phone calls. Then some requests from the birthmother’s side we weren’t prepared for. They needed a decision right that minute. And then it was over.
I am not sure how to process this whole experience. I am a mixture of guilt and dissapointment. Should we have said yes to her requests? There was no time to think. We had to make a decision right then. So we had to go with what we talked about, the place answer we felt was the right one for us right now.
And I’m in the midst of one of the busiest weeks of my year with work. There is no time to process beyond trusting God that there was a reason for all this.
As I was mulling over putting our adoption story out on the blogosphere, I have been daunted by the first post I’d have to write. Mostly because even though we started our adoption journey officially this year, God has been laying groundwork for our adoption for our whole marriage. Here’s a brief summary:
1999 the I do’s were said and dreams began
2002 this baby thing might not be as easy as we were thinking
2003-2013 refinement, waiting on God, and trusting His plan
2013 adoption…why did we wait so long?
And that question, “Why did we wait so long?” has resonated through me since we began this journey. With God, there is not a second best. There is one beautiful plan that He unfolds at just the right time. And with adoption, for His reasons, He waited until our hearts were absolutely bursting for a child. Have we explored every possible option for having a biological child? No. But over the last year, we began to ponder some new ideas about how God creates families. Families aren’t created merely by flesh and blood, they are created by God’s hand. And the big, scary letting go that takes place when starting adoption is really just snuggling closer to the heart of the Maker of Heaven and Earth. And so, on April 24th 2013, we leaned in to God and said yes to adoption.